The Littlest Big Bang

It all started in March of 2007, I had gotten my period but it was a irregular so I decided to take a pregnancy test and see what happens.  Low and behold it said "Positive"!!  How exciting?!?! Well not really.  When we went for our first ultrasound, we did not get the results we were hoping for.  The tech couldn't find a anything in my uterus but did find a mass on my left ovary.  Two days later we were sent to Boston to Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center for another ultrasound, the good news is they found the pregnancy! The unfortunate news was that it was in my right Fallopian tube.  I was having an ectopic pregnancy that needed to be removed immediately.  This was a bit of a whirlwind so I'm going by what I can remember.  Obviously, I don't remember the surgery but I do remember, while I was in Pre- Op, the last thing the doctor said to me was, he wanted to be honest and that there was a chance I wouldn't be able to have kids, he might have to remove both of my ovaries.  Thanks Doc, that's the best you can come up with 5 minutes before you wheel me in to cut me open?!?! Great! I called my sister Lisa in hysterics.  I don't remember what she said but I can only imagine she said something to make it all OK (or as ok as it could be heading into surgery possibly losing both ovaries) as she always does.  About four hours after that, I woke in the recovery room feeling very groggy.  Thankfully, he only took both Fallopian tubes, half an ovary and a dermoid (if you don't know what a dermoid is, its the kind of cyst whose cells have no identity and have things like teeth and hair that grow in them-gross! I know) cyst the size of a grapefruit!  Alas, there was hope, I had a fighting chance at having kids.  It wouldn't be easy but there was a chance.

On to, the not so fun part of what's supposed to be the fun part of having babies.  After removal of another dermoid cyst (they really aren't supposed to come back after being removed but I'm special) and a ton of tests I was ready for my first IVF (in vitro fertilization) cycle!  I was so excited, I just knew it was going to work the first time.  How could it  not?  With everything I had just gone through there was NO way it wouldn't work the first time.  It didn't work.  I was devastated.  How the heck could it not work?!?  Did my Dr. not know what he was doing?! Deep down I knew he knew what he was doing because at least four people that I know have become pregnant with him at the helm.

Let me give you a quick overview of an IVF cycle.  The office told me when to start my shots.  The shots are a mix of hormones to lower some levels and boost others.  Sometimes I was mixing meds into a syringe, sometimes I had a spring loaded trigger pen.  I had to give myself shots in the stomach every night at the same time until they told me to stop.  After a couple of days, I would go to the office for screening- blood work and and internal ultrasound.  I would have to go in for screenings every two days, I'd say.  They were screening for the growth of my eggs, number of follicles (they would mature into eggs), and sizes of each.  Once they got to a certain size and quantity, they would call me and tell me when to take my trigger shot.  The trigger shot essentially releases the eggs so they can be fertilized. Once I took my trigger shot David and I would go to the office 36 hours later for an egg retrieval.  This is a surgical process where I'm put under and the doctor extracts my eggs and fertilizes them with David's sperm.  A couple days later they would call me and tell how many embryos were viable for transfer and when to come back.  We would go back to the office for the transfer.  This is a quick and easy process, it's completed via catheter placed in the uterus. I think the neat part is that, we were able to watch the transfer on the ultrasound screen.  Final step is to wait.  Approximately, 12 days later we go in for a blood test, that test gives us either really bad or really good news.

I eventually got over the first one and said "OK, when do I get to start sticking needles in my belly, again?" A couple of months later I started my second cycle. The result: Nada! So that was number two.  Holidays came around so we took some time off then we tried cycle three. The result: Zilch.  Onto cycle number four...we transferred four embryos. The result: Prego!!!! Yahoo!!!  I couldn't believe it! I think I took a thousand pregnancy test just to make sure.  I guess there was a reason why I couldn't believe it because it didn't last. Sadly, I miscarried.  I was devastated, David was devastated.  It was tough. We were heart broken.  I thought if maybe I had trusted and didn't take all the EPT tests in New England I wouldn't have miscarried. In reality, I knew there was nothing that I could have done differently but when something I had so wanted was taken away just as quickly as it was given, I was grasping for straws.  With that miscarriage, something happened to me a resolve of some sort.  I think I must have really given myself to the universe or to God or to whatever the higher power is.  I realized, I had no control, it wasn't up to me what happened.  I knew I would one day be a mother but understood it was not on my terms. I had absolutely no bearing on when this was going to happen.  So that was the fourth cycle, our insurance was only going pay for five cycles.  I accepted the fact that this just might not work for me. Maybe we were meant to adopt. Who knows?!  I made sure to let the nurses know how much I appreciated all they did for me and their tolerance of me, hormones made me crazy every once in a while ;-) I think the nurses are the true heroes!

With that, I had this clarity of sorts going into my fifth cycle that I had never before had.  I knew I would be fine with the outcome no matter what.  Then came transfer day of cycle number five-July Fifth, 2009, it was a beautiful summer day.    Later that day, we were at my brother-in-law's house for our nephew Duncan's second birthday.  We didn't tell anyone where we had been that morning.  We learned our lesson, I guess.  We didn't want to break anyone's heart again.  I remember the moment distinctly, David and I were standing on the front lawn he had his arm around me, there were kids running around, and adults chatting. Then all of  a sudden I felt the tiniest flutter in my lower abdomen.  I like to call it the littlest big bang, ever.  I said to myself, (I didn't even tell David) if it works this time, that flutter was it. Needless to say, that was it!  We were pregnant!!! Not with one baby, not with two babies, but with three amazingly beautiful little babies.  And that's how it all began!!!

Here I am

Well, here it goes! My heart is pounding and my palms are sweaty. Would you like to now why?! Because I'm blogging! This is something I've wanted to do since I got pregnant with triplets, but talked myself out of it for numerous reasons. Then all of a sudden, I stared getting signs (I'm a big believer in things happen for a reason and the universe leaves us little nuggets to guide us on our way). Looking back, I guess the first sign was getting pregnant, then carrying my babies to 35 weeks, then giving birth to healthy babies. I'm sure I could list a million more if I tried hard enough but I won't bore you with that. I'll give you the most recent signs that have led me to this moment. First, I was speaking to my Zumba instructor and I mentioned I was getting nervous for race day (I'm training to run the 2012 Boston Marathon) she said, "If you can carry triplets you can run a marathon." And I said "Yeah I guess you're right." Second, a woman in the locker room at the YMCA told me I was an inspiration to her. And most recent, I told a dear friend I wanted to start a blog and they were so totally supportive of me I thought to myself I have to do this.

Here I am!! My name is Kristi, I'm a wife, and I'm a stay at home mom of two year old triplets. Now, I can add blogger to the list!! I don't know what the format of my blog is, I'm assuming it will evolve into its own world. I will talk about a little bit of everything, life, parenting, tricks I've picked up, cooking, working out, marriage and anything else that strikes me. Really ,I just wanted to get my first post off my chest! Now that's done so let the fun begin!!!